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Breaking: Taylor Swift in Critical Condition After Obama Drone Strike

Reporting from UCLA Medical Center: Twenty-three year old singer-songwriter Taylor Swift is in critical condition after the Obama administration orders a drone strike against the country-pop sensation this afternoon. Witnesses report Swift was downtown, Los Angeles at the corner of N. Broadway and 1st Street screaming the ancient Greek phrase “Molon Labe” at bystanders just before the drone strike took place. Doctors report Swift has been moaning, “Molon labe”, but is otherwise unresponsive. President Obama released this statement after the strike:

“The strike on Swift was necessary and imperative for national security. Minimal civilian casualties were noted due to the advanced technology of our drone program. The individuals who took Swift to the hospital are currently being tracked down by the Department of Homeland Security and the FBI for providing aide to a suspected terrorist. Currently, DHS and FBI are in route to UCLA Medical Center to retrieve Swift and all who provided care to Swift. Providing aide, or care to a suspected terrorist is against the law and these individuals will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

According to the Administration Swift was placed on the President’s kill list because she met the criteria for being a target as a United States Citizen.  When contacted, John Brennan, architect of the kill list criteria and Obama appointee to head of CIA, refused to comment. Brennan was recently at the forefront of rising GOP star Rand Paul’s 13 hour filibuster. Paul’s concerns, which prompted the filibuster was that the Obama Administration may attempt to use a drone strike on American citizens on US soil without their constitutional right to due process. For 13 hours the administration refused to provide an answer. Paul’s filibuster went viral, which finally prompted the administration to provide a one paragraph response to Paul saying that his concerns were not warranted and that the President had no such power. Today proved Paul’s concerns to be warranted. The Combating Terrorism swiftCenter is an academic institution at the United States Military Academy (USMA) in West Point, New York. They recently released a study of  “The Dangers of the Far Right”. Swift’s tax returns showed multiple donations to pro-life non-for-profits. According to the report, this support of pro-life non-for-profits is a danger to the citizens of America. Neighbors reported swift buying more than one week’s worth dehydrated food at a local surplus store. According to the FBI this is only behavior that a suspected terrorist would be involved in. Furthermore, Swift recently tweeted, “I can’t believe I have to pay so much in #taxes this yr! Damn #IRS! -Love Taylor.” According to a recent warning from the FBI this type of extremism puts IRS employees at particular risk, and is a matter of national security. The next day another tweet promoted investigation from the Department of Homeland Security. Swift tweeted, “I thought #Obama said #HealthInsurance #premiums would go down? #OMG Mine is ^$400 from last yr! #NoBama! -Love Taylor” According to a report recently released by the DHS, antagonistic language towards the President’s policies is defined as extremist behavior. Because of Swift’s extremist, terrorist like behavior the administration believes the attack to be warranted as a matter of public safety and security. Eric Holder, US Attorney General, provided the following statement, “I believe that our children are safer this evening and we can all go home to our families tonight and sleep soundly knowing that this extremist is no longer roaming the streets.” Holder was noted as saying that there could be certain circumstances, which would warrant a drone strike on American citizens on US soil before the Paul filibuster. This is of course a healthy dose of satire, but what if it wasn’t? You’ll notice all of the links are credible.

Liberals Find a Conservative Savior: Rand Paul

It is no secret that the GOP establishment has been distancing itself further and further from the majority of America. The last two elections were lost by the party not because the candidate wasn’t “moderate enough”, but because the GOP establishment has hand picked the candidates, and champions of small government know that when the establishment becomes too big and powerful it is referred to as tyrannical government. Champions of the liberty minded type of conservatism believe that their political views  can win over a majority. Conservatives, liberals and independents alike can all be won over in the view of these select few Republicans. Many identify as Libertarians,  but whatever you call them they may have just proven themselves to be right. Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) filibustered John Brennan’s CIA confirmation vote for almost 13 hours. Brennan, Attorney General Holder and the President Obama have been accused of believing they have the ability to kill American citizens on US soil without their constitutional rights by means of drone strikes. When the Obama administration and Brennan were asked to answer questions by Paul they refused to respond. Holder did provide a response, but it wasn’t the one Paul wanted to hear. Holder released a statement saying he believes there are circumstances, which would make the strikes legal. Throughout the whole event Paul continued to ask for answers, which were never provided. Paul said, “I will speak until I can no longer speak, I will speak as long as it takes, until the alarm is sounded from coast to coast that our constitution is important, that your right to trial by jury is precious, that no American should be killed on American soil without first being charged with a crime, without first being found to be guilty by a court.” It looks as if the Libertarian minded, Republican succeeded in getting his message heard from coast to coast.

The Top 3 hashtags trending on twitter all night were:

  • #StandWithRand

    Rand Paul (R-KY) Filibusters Brennan Nomination

    Rand Paul (R-KY) Filibusters Brennan Nomination

  • #Filibuster
  • #SenRandPaul

Talk of Rand Paul dominated Facebook, Google searches, talk radio, late night television and even the mainstream media. His picture was front page on every media website. The remarkable events came when democrats started to drool over Rand. Many have questioned why a Republican senator from Kentucky is having to question a Nobel peace prize winner on why he believes as the President of the United States he can kill Americans without their Constitutional rights. Democratic leadership have remained silent throughout this process with Brennan and the Obama administration. Democratic voters had no one to turn to, but there stood Paul. Therefore, they stood with Paul.

The ACLU took it one step further by endorsing Rand’s efforts. Christopher Anders, Senior Legislative Council at the American Civil Liberties Union in Washington DC pointed out that,

“The information Paul seeks is easy for the administration to hand over – it ought to be a no-brainer. It ought to be upsetting for everyone, all Americans of both parties, to not be able to get a straight answer to what is a very straightforward question from Senator Paul. The American people have a right to know. Senator Paul is right to push for that information and I think he’s doing a very good job of exercising his constitutional duty as a member of Congress in our system of checks and balances to help serve as a check on the executive branch, on the president.”

Anders called the administration’s stonewalling “inexcusable.” “The standards apparently applied by the administration”, he continued, “are not standards recognized by any court in the land, any court anywhere in the world.” Demand Progress, a progressive think-tank, tweeted: “We lefties at DP are proud to #StandWithRand tonight as he filibusters the nomination of drone and torture supporter #JohnBrennan”. Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR) also joined in support of Rand Paul. The GOP establishment also got on board. Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee,  tweeted: “Attention all Republican US Senators… Please go to the floor and help out @SenRandPaul #StandWithRand”. Reince has been under attack form the grassroots for years now.

However, not all in the establishment were happy. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) tried to stop Rand Paul, but was unsuccessful. Instead of supporting Rand Paul on the Senate floor, Senator Graham was having dinner with President Obama. Senators Graham and McCain both took to the Senate floor today in sharp criticism of Rand Paul and those who stood at his side. One wonders what conversation Obama and Graham had at dinner that led to Graham’s remarks against Paul. “I was going to vote against Brennan, until the filibuster,” Graham, of South Carolina, said. “I thought Brennan was arrogant, a bit shifty. I am going to vote for Brennan now because it’s become a referendum on the drone program.” McCain said, “If Mr. Paul wants to be taken seriously he needs to do more than pull political stunts that fire up impressionable libertarian kids in their college dorms. He needs to know what he’s talking about.” The grassroots is in an uproar over the GOP establishment remarks.

Holder released a statement to Paul today, which show his positions have changed. He now states the president cannot legally do this. Many wonder why it took Paul standing in the national spotlight for 13 hours just to get the administration to make such a declaration. Afterwards, Brennan was confirmed by the Senate (63:34) as the new CIA director. Establishment Republicans such as Corker (TN), Alexander (TN), McCain (AZ), Graham (SC), and Rubio (FL- who is losing popularity with the grassroots, liberty movement) all voted in favor of Brennan. Rand Paul and many of his new allies voted against the Brennan confirmation.
 It seems the message is clear. Rand was not asking his audience to stand at his side, but to take a stand against the tyranny he believes big government manifests itself into. Dozens of petitions that received tens of thousands of signatures such as this one began to circulate. Democrats and Republicans alike signed these petitions to send a message directly to Obama that they wanted answers. The event was not just popular here in America. People around the world watched and took a stand with the freshman Kentucky Senator. Is this proof positive that the establishment has been shaken to the core? For lovers of liberty one thing was clear. Paul’s filibuster was a shift in the balance of power even if for only 13 hours. Many Senators showed up to support Rand who had not supported him in the past, but this time they were riding his coattail for once. The coattail of liberty was rode by the entire world, and this is what makes Rand Paul so appealing to all. It seems as though Rand Paul was able to accomplish more in his 13 hour filibuster than his father, Ron Paul, was able to accomplish in his entire congressional career. Paul’s actions will not be looked back on in the future as a simple filibuster, but a historic speech that will be quoted for decades to come. Last night democrats and republicans came together in a way which hasn’t been seen since Reagan made his successful presidential bid decades ago and establishment leadership from both parties are not happy about it. Rand Paul has been pushed as a strong contender for the GOP Presidential ticket in 2016. Super PACs are already lining up behind him, and many believe this move just put him over the top.